Firing made easy

Jim Mullin, now in search of a new alt-weekly readership to whom he can abjectly justify his incompetence.

Craigslist marches on

The AAN West seminar's keynote speaker, Craig Newmark of Craigslist.com, said a bunch of infantile crap you've already thought about, back when you realized: "Craigslist represents a dramatic step forward in the world's ability to advertise and purchase personal goods and services, without involving the torturous and expensive middleman known as classified newspaper advertising. Whew, it's a good thing alt-weeklies have those articles!"

Still, because it's a seminar, and these editors have chops, there were a few reliable old ponytails who took the bait and overenthusiastically grilled Newmark about his role in the end of the world as they know it. We would tell you more, but at this point we were too busy carving "I *Heart* Citizen Journalism" into our temple with a cocktail stirrer, in an attempt to stimulate the blood flow to our brain. Okay, okay, we were also flirting with the Memphis Flyer staff ... but we were flirting back!

AAN your point is ...?

Here is the wrap-up on the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies web site of the group's West Coast conference:

San Francisco was invaded by 261 enthusiastic newspaper professionals last weekend when the AAN West conference hit town. Seminars were held at the Holiday Inn Golden Gateway hotel, which provided lovely views of the city to members who stayed overnight. (Although we did hear complaints that the conference rooms were a wee bit chilly.)

Did the term "enthusiastic newspaper professionals" catch your eye, too? Either AAN is allowing its interns to employ sarcasm now, or this has become the new PC term for out-of-touch middle-aged white guys who flaunt their sweaty desperation through soul patches, blazer-and-jeans ensembles, and credulity-stretching allusions to "crazy" nights on coke.

Hey, man: While all those straight-laced mainstream journalists were hanging out in the lobbies of swank Baghdad hotels, dreading the next time they draw the pool assignment, dulling their fears of kidnapping with cut-rate hash, the heavy-hitting brass of the nation's alt-weeklies, ever prowling the front lines of reality, were disappointed to discover that the meeting rooms at the Holiday Inn Golden Gateway required a sweater. Or at least a heavy shirt.

Hello

Welcome to our blog, in which we will chronicle the death spiral of the American alternative weekly as it descends through identity crisis, self-parody, and irrelevance. Our feelings on the matter will become known over the course of our bloggery, but for now they are best expressed by way of the following photo:



We have worked for both the New Times and Village Voice chains, as well as "independent" alternative weeklies, and have learned to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of each.

Too bad they're all going to hell.