Dewey Defeats Truman!

Though we're a bit late to the party, we're happy to preview the illuminating Pazz and Jop essay, hot off the presses. Send along any tidbits to altweeklydeathwatch@yahoo.com, motherfucker.

Ask A Mexican To Take A Hike

After a distinguished 12 years, Will Swaim, publisher, editor and creator of beloved "Ask A Mexican" franchise, has decided to leave his post at the OC Weekly over "philosophical differences" with owner Village Voice Media of Phoenix.

Regarding our post of Feb. 22, 2006

Done!

From around the alt. weekly world, we bring you the headlines!

A minor victory for the San Francisco Bay Guardian.

30-year old Kevin Hoffman will submarine New Times Village Voice Media's City Pages.

Mozart, the iguana, will have his erection cut off.

New Times Village Voice Media Author Quiz!

Truly the biggest of the BSDs of the alternative weekly world, Phoenix-based New Times Village Voice Media employs some of the brightest minds in new journalism. Test your savvy by matching the following sterling nuggets with the responsible staff member.

1.) If ever there were a violation of basic human rights, it was slavery.

2.) For me that means books…

3.) There's something about pizza joints that makes the cheap snack shacks regular pit stops for rock types.

4.) When asked who I will vote for, I shake my head in disgust and reply, "Yo soy Mexicano."

5.) The brown walls, metal grating covering windows, bricks layered one atop the other, the glossy flooring and fluorescent lighting don't add up to much except for a building, but when people are added—the constant flow of community members sweeping in and out of the entranceway, up and down the stairs, back and forth through the halls—that building takes on life. The building beats, beats with blood, the blood of the people who come to the Morrisania Multi-Service Center for help or to help. The people fill the chambers, bustling with work and picking up phone calls. A hum ensues.

6.) No sane person believes music has much of an effect on politics, except for a few mush-brained burnouts and their contemporary wannabes.

7.) The heroin he's selling most likely originated in Afghanistan, where the more bombs fall and bullets fly, the more opium poppies bloom by the tens of thousands in huge fields, brilliant and beautiful, the color of bright-red arterial blood.

8.) All right, so the Band sucked. Does that mean Moviola sucks? No way, Moviola rules!

9.) Like a rock 'n' roll Sisyphus, the Slip have long been punished by their own eclecticism.

10.) Clack. Click-clack. Click-ity-click-ity-click-ca-click-clack.




Answers:
1.) Tom Walsh, Editor, SF Weekly!
2.) Karen Zuercher, Ass. Editor, Ret., SF Weekly!
3.) Jennifer Maerz, Music Editor, SF Weekly!
4.) Michael Lacey, Executive BSD, New Times Media Village Voice Media!
5.) Mara Altman, Village Voice!
6.) David Downs, Music Editor, East Bay Express!
7.) David Holthouse, Executive Music Editor, Ret., New Times Media Village Voice Media!
8.) Dan Strachota, Music Editor, Ret., SF Weekly!
9.) Johnathan Zwickel, Music Editor, Ret., Broward-Palm Beach New Times!
10.) Ryan Blitstein, Staff Writer,Ret., SF Weekly

Runners up:
1.) "It is a sound known by many names -- trance, progressive house, electronic dance music..." -- Mosi Reeves, Music Editor, Ret., Miami New Times
2.) "With impulsive, impossible-to-predict tempo swings..." -- Jason Bracelin, Music Editor, Ret., Cleveland Scene
3.) Collected writings, Sikle Tudor.