Alt-Country: Last Week in Weeklies

Things from the woolly world of alt-weeklies that blew our minds and tightened our vaginas:

Exquisite turn of phrase: "Her labia would chafe from friction when she jogged."

Second-laziest attempt at justifying shopworn alt-weekly story staple: "Cockfighting has long been big in Ohio."

Laziest: "It's official, cocaine is back."

Most honest sentence in (full, obvious) suck-up job: "Full, if obvious, disclosure: Lacey is my boss." (More on this later)

"They just laughed, and drank more cocktails."

"I told them that going after somebody on the left does not prove you are not a lefty. In fact we do it because we are on the left. They just laughed, and drank more cocktails."
Read more: End of an Era at the LA Weekly