Things from the woolly world of alt-weeklies that blew our minds and tightened our vaginas:
Exquisite turn of phrase: "Her labia would chafe from friction when she jogged."
Second-laziest attempt at justifying shopworn alt-weekly story staple: "Cockfighting has long been big in Ohio."
Laziest: "It's official, cocaine is back."
Most honest sentence in (full, obvious) suck-up job: "Full, if obvious, disclosure: Lacey is my boss." (More on this later)
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